The Criminal & the Community

On the very next day after the receipt of the letter, down came the tall postilion in a post-chaise—not upon one of the horses, but inside—actually inside the chaise—and, driving up to the very door of the town hall, where the corporation was assembled, delivered a letter, written by the Lord knows who, and signed by Nicholas Tulrumble, in which Nicholas said, all through four sides of closely-written, gilt-edged, hot-pressed, Bath post letter paper, that he responded to the call of his fellow-townsmen with feelings of heartfelt delight; that he accepted the arduous office which their confidence had imposed upon him; that they would never find him shrinking from the discharge of his duty; that he would endeavour to execute his functions with all that dignity which their magnitude and importance demanded; and a great deal more to the same effect.

But even this was not all. The tall postilion produced from his right-hand top boot a damp copy of that afternoon’s number of the county paper, and there, in large type, running the whole length of the very first column, was a long address from Nicholas Tulrumble to the inhabitants of Mudfog, in which he said that he cheerfully complied with their requisition, and, in short, as if to prevent any mistake about the matter, told them over again what a grand fellow he meant to be, in very much the same terms as those in which he had already told them all about the matter in his letter. The corporation stared at one another very hard at all this. Then it looked as if for explanation to the tall postilion, but as the tall postilion was intently contemplating the gold tassel on the top of his yellow cap and could have afforded no explanation whatever, even if his thoughts had been entirely disengaged, they contented themselves with coughing very dubiously, and looking very grave.

The tall postilion then delivered another letter, in which Nicholas Tulrumble informed the corporation that he intended to repair the town hall, in grand state and gorgeous procession, on the Monday afternoon next ensuing. At this, the corporation looked still more solemn, but, as the epistle wound up with a formal invitation to the whole body to dine with the Mayor on that day at Mudfog Hall, Mudfog Hill, Mudfog, they began to see the fun of the thing directly. They sent back their compliments, and they’d be sure to come.