Pirates, A comedy in one act

The play takes place in Mrs. Warren’s little living room during the early Victorian period. At the left is a door leading to another part of the house. A door at the back opens into the entrance hall. As the curtain rises, Mrs. Warren, seated in a large chair, is talking to her maid, Clara.

Mrs. Warren. Gossip is malicious, my dear girl, positively malicious. Doesn’t the Bible say—(The knocker sounds.) There, isn’t that the door? (Clara starts to go.) Oh, Clara, before you open the door, be sure and dust off the table in the hall and——

(Clara goes out. Mrs. Warren arranges her dress and the little lace cap on her head.)

Clara. (From the door) It’s Mrs. Lawty, ma’am.

Mrs. Warren. Oh, the dear soul! Have her come right in—right in, Clara.

(Clara goes out. Mrs. Lawty enters.)

Mrs. Lawty. Good afternoon—good afternoon, Mrs. Warren.

Mrs. Warren. Good afternoon, my dear. Do sit down, Mrs. Lawty—do sit down.

Mrs. Lawty. Oh, thank you. I have just dropped in for a moment. I am on my way to the meeting of the “Helping Hand Society,” and as I had to pass this way I just came in to see how you were. I hope I am not interrupting any work you may be doing, my dear.

Mrs. Warren. Oh, dear, no. I was just giving my maid a little lecture … on gossip.